Stay and change. Or leave and stay unchanged.

I want to not be scared. I felt weak. Like I needed somebody to come and save me.  I want to feel stronger than that. I want to feel in control over my own safety. I want to be able to trust others. I want to be able to enjoy the things that life has to offer me fearless. I want to able to do the things on my bucketlist, despite being scared. I want to be fearless. I want to become experienced, instead of staying bitten and bitter. 

Sometimes the only thing that people see is what you did. When in fact, they should be looking at why you did it.

Have you ever done something that wasn’t right in the eyes of others? But you did it anyways, because of a reason you thought was good.

 

Not everything in this world can be so easily differentiated. Good people can lies and bad people can do good deeds. And it’s up to you to decide whether you think a person is good or bad. Don’t listen to others, create your own opinion, well-based on something. 

If you do wish to assume, do know that it could make an ass out of you. 

When I was younger…

• I didn’t worry about how I looked
• It didn’t matter if I acted weird in front of others
• There were no ‘popular’ people, and everyone was pretty much friends
• I had less than 15 minutes of homework a week
• I only cried when I scraped my knee
• The only time when I had to worry about a bill was when I wanted to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck
• Kissing was disgusting
• I didn’t knew what sarcasm was
• Innocence
• People actually talked to each other instead of spending their time on a damn phone
• There was no such thing as peer pressure
• I didn’t look like a panda because of insomnia/pulling all-nighters/work
• A song didn’t have so much meaning
• Happiness was simple achieved

 

 

THE PERSON WHO REALLY LOVES YOU SEES WHAT A MESS YOU CAN BE, HOW MOODY YOU CAN GET, AND HOW HARD YOU ARE TO HANDLE. BUT STILL WANTS YOU IN THEIR LIFE AND STILL LOVES YOU.

Easy come, easy go.

Everything that comes easy in life doesn’t last very long. What can you say about the value of something that you haven’t done very much for? I tend to think that something I’ve worked hard for, something I’ve put effort in, is more worth it to have. Because of the effort it feels more rewarding. Such as money, but also relationships with people. I don’t like to be a burden to others, I rather try and learn it myself first. I think you shouldn’t take what you love and what you want for granted. Everything in life has a price, not always necessarily expressed in money value. And it’s how it works in the ‘real world’ out there, when you’re done with your education and put yourself out there, all alone, trying to find your own place in this crowded world.

And, what can be changed, change if it’s unacceptable. But, what can’t be changed, accept. Maybe they arrived in your life, for a reason. Maybe they came accidentally. And maybe… it just wasn’t meant to be.

But, no matter how hard it is, in the end, the most important thing is that you are able to accept and move on. That no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, you’ll get through this too.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter, what can’t be changed and move on.

Sometimes, sadness is better.

There is a difference between sadness and depression.

You see, sadness is a moment, a moment filled with sad and depressing thoughts. But, during that moment you feel.

Depression is something else, depression can be so much longer than ”a moment”, and the worst thing is probably that you don’t feel a damn thing. It’s a dangerous place to be, to be in a place where it’s hard to care anymore. It’s hard to get out that deep, deep place.

”Depressive people tend to act more calmly than others under heavy pressure, because they already expect bad things to happen.” No shit, sherlock.

Becoming an adult, having been pushed and pulled –  and seeing things around me even more clear has pulled me into a, what some call, midlifecrisis. Stupid study choices, money, love and the reality of life. Yes, I sometimes feel like I’m 30-ish, because I can see that

- it’s hard to make important choices that will affect my future,

- studying costs a shit load of money, and it’s even harder without the right people.

- it’s hard to find true love. Where are all the gentlemen?! My standards are not high, there are just not a lot of proper guys out there anymore.

And despite all of this, all I want is happiness and a lil’ bit of love.

Why the hell do I have to think about this at this age?

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Un peu de l’un, un peu de deux. Mes petits tresors.

Peace before the upcoming chaos

But I’m still standing on my feet.

Made a wrong turn 
Once or twice 
Dug my way out 
Blood and fire 
Bad decisions 
That’s alright 
Welcome to my silly life 

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood 
Miss “know it it’s all good” 
It didn’t slow me down 
Mistaken, always second guessing 
Underestimated, but look I’m still around